oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sorry about my life...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
