I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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