Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
