I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
