they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
