I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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