It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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