im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
