It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Green mimosas i think yes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
