I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
