Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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