Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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