I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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