no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
