I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
