Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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