well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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