I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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