Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it glows. i had to have it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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