and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
