Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
