I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
