Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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