GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
