Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
