I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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