The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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