Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think my fart just growled at me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
