You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
