Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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