I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize