its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
