A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize