This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
