that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize