giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
