Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
