I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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