At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
