Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize