All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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