Just fell off a train. Bad.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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