That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
