Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
