he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I pour the whiskey from now on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
