Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
