the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
