yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
