he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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