clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
