All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
