there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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