My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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