Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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