I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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