is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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