ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
