need another drink. this is the easiest way
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
