$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
