addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
