I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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