I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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