I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We left an ass print on the piano.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
